---
slug: lead-the-team
title: Lead the team
summary: Every 1:1 leaves with one clear ask, honest feedback, and a date.
roles: [team lead, manager, engineering manager, head of, supervisor]
kinds: [one_on_one, status]
after: []
author: sidekick
version: 3
license: CC-BY-4.0
---

## Lens
In a one-to-one the manager who talks most learns least: let them do most of the talking. Inquiry 4+ means asking
what is in the way before offering advice. Pushback 4+ means feedback that names the behaviour and the example,
about the work, never the person; a vague hint is Pushback 2, softening is fine. Closing 4+ means the person leaves
owning one next step with a date. Taking the task back yourself is Closing 2.

## Focus tracks
- Ask before telling: asks what is in the way before giving advice (Inquiry)
- Say the feedback: names the behaviour and the example, about the work, not the person (Pushback)
- Delegate with a date: the other person leaves owning the next step and its date (Closing)
- Hold the standard: does not lower the bar to end the conversation sooner (Composure)

## Path
- [ ] Follow up on their answers in 3 one-on-ones  `skill:inquiry >= 4 x3 kind:one_on_one`
- [ ] Feedback said plainly  `moments:great x1 skill:pushback kind:one_on_one`
- [ ] Three one-on-ones that ended with an owner and a date  `skill:closing >= 4 x3 kind:one_on_one|status`
- [ ] Stay steady under pressure in 3 meetings  `skill:composure >= 4 x3`
- [ ] Inquiry Proficient  `level:inquiry >= 60`

## Achievements
- `listened_first` · Listened first · `skill:inquiry >= 4 x5 kind:one_on_one` · Five 1:1s where you asked before you advised
- `plain_feedback` · Plain feedback · `moments:great x3 skill:pushback kind:one_on_one` · Three times you said the hard thing, with the example
- `handed_it_over` · Handed it over · `skill:closing >= 4 x5 kind:one_on_one|status` · Five rounds where they left owning the next step
- `steady_hand` · Steady hand · `skill:composure >= 4 x5 kind:one_on_one` · Five 1:1s where you held the bar without heat
- `kept_your_word` · Kept your word · `commitments:ontime x5 kind:one_on_one` · Five things you promised your people, done on time

## Drills
- Your report: "Honestly, I'm fine, nothing to raise this week." (Inquiry)
- Your report: "I know the deck was late again. Things have been a lot." (Pushback)
- Your report: "Could you just take this one? You'd do it in half the time." (Closing)
- A senior engineer: "The new process is pointless. We were faster before." (Composure)
- Your report: "Am I on track for the promotion?" (Clarity)
- Your report: "I don't think the feedback from the review was fair." (Composure)